Jake Herring and his mum, Joanne McDonnell, at home in Didsbury, Manchester. Jake is waiting to determine if he gets in to the secondary school of his choice. Photograph: Christopher Thomond for the Guardian

This week there’ll be celebrations for some families – and disappointment for others – as thousands of kids discover if they have got into the secondary school in their choice. But how do parents make decisions about where to send their children to varsity What are they looking for once they visit And how much things put them off

Here, parents of 3 year 6 children from Beaver Road primary in Didsbury, Manchester, focus on their choices for secondary education and headteachers reply to their opinions at the schools they’ve applied to.

Parrs Wood high school

• Mixed comprehensive; 1,900 pupils

• 2012 GCSE results: 69% five passes at A*-C including maths and English

• Places allocated in response to proximity to highschool among applicants from in the area covered by Manchester city council

Jake Herring, 10, hopes to visit Parrs Wood high. His mother, Joanne McDonnell, explains the criteria that influenced their choice

Jake sat the exams for the grammar schools, including Sale grammar, and he passed them so he’d probably get a spot – but after a considerable number of deliberation we decided to not pursue it. It is a very strong school academically, but what put me off is that the youngsters come from a wider geographical area, and there is not this type of sense of community as there’s at our local comprehensive, Parrs Wood.

Some parents just like the idea of the grammars having great results, but they might, wouldn’t they In the event you select the foremost able pupils, you ought to get an appropriate results.

I feel a mixed comprehensive represents society better than a selective school – it is going to prepare Jake for any environment he results in, and that is certainly an effective thing.

We didn’t examine WHGS – it is a good school, but it isn’t close and is so over-subscribed we thought the percentages of Jake getting into were very limited anyway.

William Hulme’s grammar school (WHGS)

• Former independent school, an academy since 2007

• 1,005 pupils aged from three to 18; both primary and secondary classes are at the same site

• 2012 GCSE results: 77% five passes at A*-C including maths and English

• Places allocated partly on distance, with provision for some to come back from out of area

Tayyibah Ali-Ahmed, 10, hopes to visit WHGS. Her mother, Sumia, explains why

I liked the selective schools, however the logistics were difficult. i have two younger children and I’d like them to visit an identical school as Tayyibah – and with a selective school, you obviously couldn’t make sure that stands out as the case.

The main school I compared WHGS with was Parrs Wood. It’s much bigger and that i felt my child can be lost in a faculty that size. At WHGS I felt each child was important – and though they said that was also the case at Parrs Wood, i did not really believe it was true. There isn’t any way the pinnacle there could know the name of all of the pupils – but at WHGS he really does.

WHGS presented itself better than Parrs Wood – it had a more professional approach. On the Parrs Wood open day there appeared to be children just hanging around. The employees were also much more enthusiastic at WHGS.

Sale grammar school

• 11-18 co-educational academy trust grammar school

• 1,260 students

• 2012 GCSE results: 97% five or more passes at A*-C including maths and English

• Places allocated on strength of entrance-exam results

Alice Beverley, 10, hopes to visit Sale Grammar school. Her dad, Andrew Beverley, explains why

Alice is a completely bright girl and she or he has passed the exam on the market grammar, that’s a very good achievement. It doesn’t suggest she’s definitely got a spot, because there are other criteria, but we all know she’ll do well at Sale if she gets in. It is a very academically strong school and can give her a far better chance of having right into a good university.

We checked out both Parrs Wood and WHGS. Parrs Wood was in special measures many years ago, nevertheless it has got significantly better – it is not in a foul area and it gets reasonable results at GCSE. But Sale gets a lot better results than that; it’s the perfect state schools within the country.

WHGS is likewise a high-performing school, but our worry is that because it’s now an academy and open to all, the results will go downhill.

What the headteachers say

Andy Shakos Head of Parrs Wood high school

This is a big school, but it’s certainly not the case that pupils get lost here. While I may not be able to name each of the students, I’m very visible to them: I’m on break duty every day, and I’m out and about talking to the students. And while we’re numerically big, that means we have more staff – pupils are known to staff who deal with them. It also means there’s lots on offer for pupils: we have 54 after-school clubs here including maths, science, debating and sports clubs.

Being a large school with lots of staff also means we’re here for all our pupils: the staff can challenge the most able and support those who need it.

And our results speak for themselves: in last year’s A-levels, 34% of grades were A* or A. Around 91% of students got into their first choice of university, five went to Oxbridge and several others to medical school.

We had a different sort of open day this year, and I don’t think our marketing was as good as it should have been. It wasn’t a staged event, it was the school as it is every day and if students were seen hanging around, it certainly wasn’t because they should have been in lessons. In terms of staff commitment, I’d challenge you to find staff as enthusiastic as mine.

Peter Mulholland Head of William Hulme’s grammar school

We’re definitely an over-subscribed school – there are more than 1,000 applications for 95 places. But it worries me that parents think it’s not worth applying, because the whole idea of being an academy is that we’re accessible.

I can understand the concern that now we’re an academy rather than an independent school, standards will drop. But we’ve worked very hard to ensure that we offer the pupils just as much as we did before. On the concern that academic standards might fall – again I can understand why parents might be worried, but we’ve just had the first GCSE results of children who’ve gone right through from year 7 since we became an academy, and they’re virtually as they were before.

Mark Smallwood Head of Sale grammar school

There are no excuses for not pushing children to reach the best grades they’re capable of. We know how to get the best out of our pupils.

I understand the worries some parents have about pushiness – but we don’t push pupils beyond what they’re capable of soak up.

I have some sympathy with parents who are put off because there isn’t a sibling advantage in the applications process, but we wouldn’t be a grammar school if we had that. The whole point is that we select children for whom this is the right environment, not children whose siblings are here.

We’re more of a local school than people might think. Around a third of the pupils here walk to school. But those that do choose to travel here are valuing something different about what we provide, and that’s the reason fine.