‘There’s one lesson that I’ve taken from these jobs into my post-university career: the lower you might be, the harder you’re employed, and the more thanklessly.’ Photograph: Laurence Dutton/Getty Images

Some youngsters do the grand tour between finishing compulsory education and the beginning of adult responsibility. a little bit backpacking round Europe. Getting off your tits on a south-east Asian beach. Sinking a couple of wells for the good thing about a Chilean village. All fine and mind-expanding experiences, none of which I did.

My personal grand tour plumbed the depths of the united kingdom economy.

Between 16 and 21, I stacked shelves, tended bars, packed boxes, waited tables, washed floors – did anything that might make me the minimum wage (or, since this started before i used to be eligible for the minimum wage, at the least the cost of a pint per hour) and will be done in shifts around my education.

At the weekend, Iain Duncan Smith claimed that some people “think they’re too good for one of these stuff” – by “this sort of stuff” he meant experience in unskilled labour, and by “some people” he specifically meant Cait Reilly, a graduate who successfully took the dep. for Work and Pensions to court after she was told that she needed to surrender volunteering in a museum and work unpaid in Poundland, or lose her jobseeker’s allowance.

IDS was incredulous at claims that working without recompense from the employer was reminiscent of slave labour: “She was paid jobseeker’s allowance by the taxpayer to try this.” Actually, a good way to get all technical about it, and rather unhiply insist on words being taken to intend what they really mean, jobseeker’s allowance is an allowance paid to people within the strategy of seeking a task (as Reilly was).

The appropriate remuneration for those who are working in Poundland is a wage paid not by the taxpayer but by Poundland. Poundland gets the advantage of Reilly’s labour, in any case. The taxpayer gets … nothing.

But IDS said much more than this. He said that “most adolescents love this programme [of unpaid labour in unskilled jobs]”. Presumably IDS believes that these teens – we could call them workers State employees within the service of personal enterprise Serfs – have become some advantage from this arrangement. i will not deny that I learned lots from my five years within the hinterland of earning power.

For example: at 16, I learned your entire velocity code system for the Co-op’s produce section by heart, excluding probably the most lesser-purchased exotics. (A velocity code is a 3-digit number utilized by the till system in lieu of a barcode. Carrots were 123. Bananas, 950. i’ll go on. There’s a complete numerical dictionary of fruit and veg lodged in my brain where my irregular French verbs must have gone.)

But a Rain Man recall of velocity codes is not one for the CV. The identical could be said of alternative things I learn: that a Dairylea Dunker won’t take an excessive amount of from your hourly wage, but it surely definitely doesn’t qualify as a lunch; and that there are people on earth (presumably people who’ve never needed to work within the service industry) whose eyes flame with hatred if you ask in the event that they have a Dividend card.

Working at the packing line of a mail order company, I learned that standing in a cubicle while classic cotton apparel flows directly to your workbench – an unstaunchable deluge calibrated to be slightly faster than the employee can manage – appears like the worst anxiety dream you have ever had. Working as a waitress, I learned that i used to be unlikely to work as a waitress for terribly long. i attempted, alright I just will not have the balance or the spatial awareness.

I worked in a genuine ale pub after that. That was worthwhile ones: I learned the finer points of cask bitter, and in addition that if a leery man orders orange juice thrice in a row, it isn’t because he’s seeking to up his vit C intake, but as a result view he gets when his unsuspecting server bends all the way down to get the carton from the underside of the fridge. All of those are great things to understand, but none so good that I’d was happy to receive this treasure of wisdom because the sole reward for my labour.

There’s one lesson that I’ve taken from these jobs into my post-university career: the lower you might be, the harder you figure, and the more thanklessly. i would feel moderately fatigued from a heavy day of journalism, but not the aching tiredness of scampering about in heels for eight hours, unsteadily delivering meals that cost greater than I’ll make in my shift. I’ll have minor clashes within the office, but i haven’t got to suck down the total contempt of a customer who considers me the personification in a polyester tabard of everything he despises (especially loyalty card schemes).

I’ll do anyone of those jobs again any time i would like the cash, but what I learned from my grand tour of the minimum wage – what Reilly knows too, and what Duncan Smith pretends to not understand – is that none of those jobs are worth doing in case you do not get paid.